crowdog66

Suicidality is still high, and I lost most of yesterday (with the exception of a brief interlude where I actually did 30 minutes of exercise) to "what the fuck is the point?" depression. I feel like I don't fit inside my own skin and want to just lie down, close my eyes, and never wake up again. But we've all heard that song before, haven't we? So, I'll stop singing it.

On Saturday evening, went out to a ritual on the shores of Lake Winnipeg, about 1 hour north of Winnipeg. Managed to do the HPS thing without totally screwing it up, and had quite a nice post-ritual feast around the bonfire afterwards. Also brought home a couple of containers of Patricia Beach sand -- very fine, pale grey, and perfect for cauldron/censer use. Maybe at the next Full Moon ritual (assuming I'm still in the game) we'll consecrate it and share it out amongst the group members.

That's pretty much all I can say without getting onto the topic of the depression again, so... that's it.

ETA: Ritual pictures here:

http://cockatiel-art.livejournal.com/152125.html?view=211261

Courtesy of cockatiel_art.