crowdog66

I can, because I'm going to have one.

My gynecologist for this case, Dr. B, is a pleasant and businesslike fellow in his mid-forties. He went over my medical history and medications, and then explained that in cases like mine, where fibroids present in a woman's forties, it's often impossible to tell whether the increased clotting/fresh blood during menstruation is a result of the fibroids or part of the normal aging process. Normally they look at medication as the first option for treatment, but because I'm already on a cocktail of meds for a serious mood disorder he doesn't want to risk interfering with that. So we moved on to surgical options, and the first step in any case is to get a closer look inside my uterus.

That's where the diagnostic hysteroscopy comes in. They'll insert a thin tube containing a camera into my vagina and through my cervix into the uterus, where Dr. B will look for more fibroids and any obvious abnormalities. He'll also take a biopsy to test for abnormal cells and cancer. Often the procedure is performed in the doctor's office, but because of my history of chronic vaginismus and severe anxiety during vaginal penetration my procedure will be performed at a hospital, where they can give me narcotics and a memory-suppressing agent as well as a more complete anesthetic than would be possible at the clinic.

Depending on what the test finds, Dr. B might then elect to perform endometrial ablation, or to remove the 3" fibroid through the cervix by cutting it into pieces (if it's protruding far enough into the uturus itself). Or we might decide to leave things as they are. If I decide that I can live with the bleeding and pain the tendency is modern medicine is to leave fibroids alone. Since there is no test to determine how close I am to menopause, that could mean ten or more further years of bitching on my blog every month, and heaven knows that nobody wants that.

I'll probably be called in for the hysteroscopy sometime in October. To say that I'm nervous and scared is an understatement, but there really isn't a choice here: I have to know what's going on.

Dr. B also performed an internal exam, which didn't have me climbing the walls the way it normally does. He was very gentle and talked me through each step. Obviously he's had experience dealing with vaginismus in other patients and I was grateful for his considerate attitude. But it was still a rough couple of minutes. It always is.

Off to comfort myself with a couple of two-bite brownies, bought especially for this occasion. Sugar and fat be damned! Full steam ahead!